Mummy Facebook Groups: The good, the bad and the uh..did they really post that?!

Ahhh…Mummy Facebook Groups. You know the groups where woman ask other women advice about being a parent or in most cases to talk about their partner or mother in law. Seriously though, you either love them or loathe them.

In my personal experience, I have been a ‘member’ of a few of these groups and I’m not that much of a fan. I’m not a huge fan of Facebook all together ( my 15 year old self would never imagine myself saying that) but no, I just don’t find them useful at all. It might just be the groups that I was a member of. I just came across some posts that I can’t believe anyone would think is ok to post. I fear that half the time the anonymous  posts are actually made up by admin to make the group a bit more exciting, they are always the post out there and savage posts. I once saw a post that read ‘ My ‘friend’ thinks she may be pregnant. There is her boyfriend and 7 other potential fathers. Can I get a DNA test without my BF finding out?’ Umm…..did someone actually ask admin to post that or do the admin think of things to make the group a bit more interesting and get a conversation going!!!

I understand that not all groups are bad and that I maybe should judge as much. I know that they do in fact help some people and it all depends on how is behind the group and the rules. I found it was like being back at school and I would never post in the fear of getting hate from women that I have never met and on something that was my life and not theirs. It was all a bit too much like a playground for me. I have seen pregnant women given bad advice, women openly talking and posting photos of abortions and other women being brought down by other women who are promoting a group for support.

I’ve been told that Rory has got Hirschsprung by women that know nothing about him, they told me that I was wrong and that I am a liar. He was misdiagnosed or that I was calling it that for attention. It was that point that I completely went off these groups.

I wanted to hear from other parents so I asked in the blogging community about their experience with these groups and it was so mixed! I couldn’t really believe the difference in people stories about Mummy Facebook groups! Here is what other bloggers said:

  • I was part of a TTC forum whilst trying for my second baby in 2016, 16 of us all conceived in the same month and one of the girls set up a Facebook group for us to move over to once the babies were born. It is a lovely supportive little community and many times I’d have felt lost without it. I’ve tried joining other mum groups on Facebook and have had to leave due to the sheer amount of mummy-shaming and general pettiness that goes on, everyone has an opinion on how you should feed, bathe, and dress your baby, what car seat you should or shouldn’t use, and it all gets a bit too much. Mums need support and a friendly shoulder, not a hostile playground. – The Everyday Mummy
  • It all depends on how they’re run. Things can get bitchy quickly. The perfect parent parade are always quick to shove their opinions down people’s throats & some subjects can get out of control fast (prime examples are : weaning, vaccinations & car seats). They can be brilliant for a bit of support & virtual friendships, especially those that are dedicated to specific things (for example : I’m parent of a Preemie Parents Group & they’re wonderful for support & advice, & the admins are great a shutting down problematic threads quickly). But with everything online, you have to think about how you write things, as things can be taken the wrong way, & sometimes you do have to have a thick skin! – Big Family Big Fun 
  • It’s been a great source of information and online friendship for me. It’s replaced Google for me when looking for recommendations or just an opinion. As long as everyone scrolls past posts that they can’t be kind on (unless lives are being endangered) then it’ll continue to be a great community! – Married Meeples
  • I have to say we’ve got a local mum’s group and I don’t think I’ve ever seen any bitchiness on there. Lots of helpful advice, probably more for babies/toddlers but it’s a really friendly group. – Over 40 and a Mum to One
  • The only one I’m in is the school mum’s group. It’s very helpful as there’s always something you’ll forget, or not even know about. It’s also nice to know there’s always someone more unorganised. I don’t join any other mum groups as there’s always those who know everything and do everything better and I try to stay away from those kinds of mums! – Digital Motherhood
  • Hate them with a passion I removed myself from the ones I was a part of. I was slated for having to stop breastfeeding and the amount of abuse I got was ridiculous and then a girl shared an offer on a car seat she was given abuse I stated I had the car seat and that’s it I was Hitler or at least you would have thought the way they carried on I was. I’ve found that 80% of the mum’s in the group are ‘perfect parents’ who sit at home all day and do not live in the real world and will just slate people to make themselves feel better for their parenting fails. – Jade’s Journey
  • I honestly don’t think I could have got through the first 12 months of being a Mum without my ‘due in Summer 16’ group. A group of women all going through similar things at similar times, always supportive and always there. The number of times we talked each other through night feeds! But… the more public groups I find hard to be part of – certain topics will always bring out very judgey people who seem hell-bent on telling others how to parent. I’ve actually had to leave one group because I’m tired of hearing all the expert advice on getting a kid to sleep! – Mum Full of Dreams
  • Some of them are beyond bitchy. Meant to be grown women and they act like kids. I’ve left a fair few for this reason. If you can drop on a nice one though it can be such a lovely support group and you can definitely make some firm friends for life! – Mom of Two
  • Wouldn’t be without them. Have actually met some great friends through a mum group on fb. – Raising Harry

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