Is being a blogger fair on my children?
It is a question that I have been asking myself for a while and to be honest, it has only been for the last few months that I have seen reasons why it isn’t fair on them. Oddly, I think online comments and more precisely trolls have brought this idea to my mind.
I’ve said before that trolls and people who make online comments should be ignored but what if they actually have a point? I started my blog 3 years ago and at the time, we only had Elsa and she was less than a year old. I had hardly any social media following and my blog stats were rubbish so I felt like I didn’t need to worry but over the last 3 years, my blog has grown and my social media has grown massively in comparison to what it was when I started. We now have 2 children with one on the way and Elsa is now in school which is maybe why I am now starting to think about if being a blogger is fair on my children.
In the blogging world, my blog isn’t that ‘big’ and my social media following isn’t either so when thinking about how blogging affects my children, I think about what it is like for children of bigger bloggers or youtubers. My children never had a choice when it came to being part of blogging, I created a blog about my life and they are part of it and that is the same for most if not all blogger, youtubers and influencers. Our children didn’t chose to be part of a blog and online presences.
But what if in years to come, my children don’t like that fact that their Mum put their life on social media and wrote about it on a blog? We just assume that because we live in an age of Technology that is only going to grow that everyone will want to be a part of it. I have had countless comments regarding me working with brands, doing ADs and getting gifted products. I am a parenting and lifestyle blogger, the majority of my work is to do with family life and it is work that includes my children. I have had people tell me that my children must love it because of all the extra toys, goodies and days out they get and yes, they must love it but to some degree, it also isn’t fair on them. When reviewing a toy or day out, I’m behind a camera taking hundreds of photos of them playing and I wondering if my children wish that I wasn’t taking all these photos of them and if I wasn’t always on my phone or laptop ‘working’.
I don’t know if I sound stupid saying this but is it completely fair for a children to have a camera in there face all the time? I know that I must sounds like a hypocrite, a blogger moaning about being a blogger when it is my choice. When it comes to my blog, I don’t really spend that much time taking photos and I will batch take photos so my children have somewhat of a normal day without a camera in their face for hours but what about children of parents who do Youtube? I can’t comment on the life of a YouTube family because we aren’t one. I just see families vlogging their children everyday and wonder if the children care? Do they actually notice a camera or do they get used to it?
I am so grateful that blogging is becoming a career for me but I can’t help but wonder what my children think. I don’t want my children to grow up and think that my blog is going to mean that they are treated differently in school. I don’t want them to wish that I hadn’t posted a photo or hadn’t written something. Elsa is older and understands more and I do talk to her about me being a blogger. She does say that she likes me doing it. Although is that down to new toys and days out?
I guess time will tell and to be honest none of us know what technology will be like in years to come and we don’t even know how blogs and social media will be then either.
Do you think being a parenting blogger is fair on children?
The Coastal Mummy 
I often wonder this sometimes too but tbh then I think I’d rather follow blogs which are honest parenting and real people that conditioned celebrity posts which are always photoshopped, untrue and only ever showing the bright side of life aswell as a need to live a totally unrealistic life and want expensive things. You’re children may not like your blog one day and that’s okay but if you explain why you did it and what they got from the blog I am sure they will be more than happy! Xx
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Ah. This is exactly why I post anonymously.
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I see it as an open diary, something you can all look back on. I love documenting it all, though I haven’t got as many followers so can’t understand the same but I think it’s great, and I just think I will have to make up for the embarrassing post when the time comes haha x
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Such a reflecting post.
I hear you even if I am not a parent. However, even as a parent you have rights, needs and wishes related to you as YOU and not you as a mum. I understand that the situation since you started blogging has changed, so ask yourself how is it affecting you NOW maybe… not in the future.Do you spend the time you or your kids need together? Is the camera an obstacle for you playing with them? Do they enjoy taking the photos or do they feel it’s something they have to do?
I also understand the need of pictures in your blog and you have chosen that. They are already there. I am sure that if the time comes, when the children ask you about it, you will find the answers.
It seems to me like something you enjoy so answer to your questions before you make any decision!
With love
Metaxia
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It’s difficult to know isn’t it. My husband sometimes mentions it to me- that he’s not sure about having the kids on social media etc. However there are a lot of good points to it- people can relate to you and there is the chance to promote great brands. For instance I’ve just started a collab with a brand that donates to help women and children who are victims of domestic violence. It’s also a great way to connect with like-minded people. You always get trolls whatever you do. I have really enjoyed reading your blog- please keep writing! It’s also great if it can become a career for you!
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It’s difficult isn’t it. My husband brings this up a lot. However there are so many benefits to it. You get to connect with a lot of like-minded people. People can relate to you. Collabs can be good too- for instance I’ve just started to collaborate with a company that donates to women and children who are victims of domestic violence. I enjoy reading your blog- please carry on writing! You get trolls whatever you do. It’s great if blogging can become a career for you too.
Best wishes
The Truth Serum Mom
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There are existing restrictions on using children in broadcasting and advertising. Children need a licence if they are performing in an event in the offline world. We have developed child centred strategies to safeguard children and put their interests first. Ofcom make it clear that no matter what the incentives, or what the parent might demand, the child must come first and if a programme might cause them harm then they can’t appear in it.
None of the above exists in the blogger/vlogger sphere.
I also find it increasingly worrying that any criticism of the vlogging world is cast unthinkingly as ‘trolling’. This is a misuse of the term and a deflection from the serious issue of child welfare.
Susan Wojcicki seems to be moving towards making it harder for parents to exploit their children, which is good, and yes it is exploitation when a child cannot consent. They have the right to privacy and dignity and to grow up to develop their identity in an autonomous manner, with guidance from the parent, according to the UN directives on the rights of the child.
The law is clear that the parent has responsibilities, not ‘rights’, towards the child. No adult has the ‘right’ to make money off an unknowing child.
Until there are official safeguards for children online then people will discuss these issues and its something that inflames passions.
This is an area that is now getting the attention it deserves from regulators. In the future we hopefully will look back with astonishment at how far parents, and brands, were able to exploit children for profit.
And the excuse about it being ‘for the memories’ is frankly an insult to other parents who manage to document their children’s lives without monetising it along the way. How many vloggers and bloggers would be sharing their kids’ lives with strangers if the financial incentives didn’t exist? None.
Constructive criticism on forums usually has an underlying legitimacy. Too many influencers behave badly and there needs to be a place for the public to discuss these things without being accused of being a ‘troll’ or worse. Funny that the most vile abuse always comes from the fans of the influencers. Forums have very strict rules about not posting hateful content, unlike twitter and elsewhere.
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This is great.
I remember when blogging became a ‘big thing’ and I knew I wanted to blog. I’ve always wanted to write but it seems so unrealistic. Blogging made my dream a reality.
Harry gave me a reason to blog, but is it fair that my whole blog is centered around him? Is it fair that I work a 40 hour week and then come home and sit on my laptop. I try to balance, I try to work on my blog when hes asleep but it doesnt always work like that. I long for the day that I dont have to work and can just blog honestly because Harry would get so much more of me. Lately it feels like I’m working 2 jobs, one i need and one i love. I worry soon that i will have to choose which one is more important x
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