If you are married, you will know that it isn’t all sweetness and Instagram photos in reality. While marriage is a beautiful, romantic and intense experience that we all dream of, it can also go through periods of difficulty and unhappiness. In fact, all long marriages have gone through times, sometimes even periods of years, where the two people involved were not particularly happy – or even actively unhappy. The ups and downs of marriage are rarely discussed, but they plague even the most healthy marriages at some point.
As a married person, you may have experienced the downturns of your marriage in the past. If you struggle to deal with these fluctuating emotions and situations, in this blog you will find helpful tips for handling all your marriage throws at you.
Realising it is normal to feel unhappy sometimes
If you feel unhappy in your marriage right now, it doesn’t mean you need to start contacting divorce solicitors. In fact, quite the contrary: the very fact you are acknowledging that something isn’t quite right is a good step in the right direction.
Perhaps you and your spouse haven’t prioritised each other in a while, due to other commitments like work and family. Maybe you have lost touch with your sense of attraction towards one another, finding it difficult to bridge the gap that has formed. Perhaps you are fighting about money, or parenting styles, or other big decisions you need to make.
All of these things are normal, relatable and fixable issues within a marriage. You are both only human, and have vowed to be together forever – meaning you have time to figure out all the small problems you’ll encounter. You can’t expect to feel over the moon in your marriage all the time; take your time, and figure out how you can work as a team to iron out your problems when they arise.
Seeking counselling is not a sign of weakness
Many married couples avoid seeking couple’s counselling because they feel it means they are a weak couple, or that their marriage is failing. Quite the contrary! Couples who ignore their problems and bury their real feelings are more likely to encounter problems down the line. If you and your spouse decide to seek couple counselling, you are taking a healthy, positive step towards a successful marriage.
Couple counselling effectively gives you the tools to communicate with each other in a more honest, respectful and effective way. If your communication style is evasive, or alternatively if it is over-confrontational, leading to regular heated arguments, your therapist can help you address your problems in a more measured way. This is a highly constructive way to deal with the downs of marriage; tackle the problem as a team, and come out of the other side a stronger couple for it.
If you are currently grappling with a bad period in your marriage, just know that you aren’t alone. Effective communication and practical thinking are the answer to getting out of this rut.
This is a collaboration post