There are 2 parts of my life. The time when my abusive parent was in my life and time when he wasn’t.
It wasn’t just my childhood that he was a part of. He was in my life until I was 24. That’s 24 years of memories. Out in the open it would see like we were a pretty normal family. Days out and going places to make memories that families would usually make but behind closed doors, it was far from that. It was abuse and that was what people didn’t see.
Now I have my own children, we are making our own memories and there are places that we visit that I visited when I was younger. These memories I have include my abuser and even though, it was part of my life. I want to forget those memories. I beg to make new memories to over take the old ones. The re-creation of memories.
I go to certain places and my brain remembers a time when I visited before, a time that even though it is part of my growing up, I would rather forget. New happy memories need to take their place.
Your brain helps you forget certain things. It does it as a type of coping mechanism. Dissociation is when your brain registers a trauma and it blocks out the trauma causing memory. My brain naturally does this but there are times when a place triggers a memory.
It could be anything. A sport. A food. A place. A song. The littlest thing can trigger the biggest memory. Re-creating and making new memories of those I had before will help forget those that I wish to forget. A bit like out with the old and in with the new so to speak.
The re-creation of memories is going to take some time but one day, all I will have is happier memories.
Read my previous posts about abuse from a parent: