Being a Mother isn’t about what you gave up to have a child but what you gained from having one
Becoming a parent changes every aspect of your life. As soon as you find out you are having a baby, your whole prospective of life changes. You discover love you have never felt before, you find yourself worrying about everything possible. You may even doubt yourself. But while you are doing all of this as well as juggling many other things in your life, you can forget yourself. Who were you before those tiny little people came along?
Everyone has memories of life before having children, you can easy forget those days. Being a parents means that your priorities shift, your ‘free’ days are gone. That can be hard to process in the start and you feel like you are restricted in the majority of aspects in your life, as a mum you pause your career for a period of time. That period of time varies from family to family and for some mums they don’t go back for a long time. From personal experience, I went from doing what I want when I wanted to. Jonny and I could do our own thing and live by our own rules. As soon as I saw those 2 lines on a pregnancy test, that was it. Everything had to be dictated by this little person. Sometimes, honestly I hate it. Your freedom has gone, you can’t just go out. You can’t just buy everything you want. It can be hard, but the love and time you have with your children makes all that worth while. I would rather spend a Saturday night in with my little family then go out and have a hang over in the morning.
For those times that you feel like you are losing yourself I have with the help of fellow bloggers and social media influencers created this list of the best things to do to find yourself again.
- Mine’s really superficial but finding 5 minutes to put my make up on and something other than shove my hair up out of my face makes me feel more like me. Not everyday obviously but a couple of times a week at least. I always wore make up to work and seeing myself without it makes me feel so crap about myself. It’s a tiny little nod to the old me. – Cat from Oh Hi DIY
- I would say the thing that helped me the most was getting out everyday (once I felt ready) even if it’s just a walk around the block. Babies also love being outside. – Mum and Reu
- Having baby free time. Whether it’s an evening out with your partner or friends just once in a while has kept me sane. Trying to push the mum guilt to one side and actually enjoy it! – Mumma Foodie
- I always make sure I have a pamper, I’ve started a gym class once a week. I get my hair done and get my nails done! It is nice to feel like me again – A Little Piece Of My Family
- I agree with making time for you, whether it’s having a nice bath in peace, having your hair done, going to do the shopping alone. Because in them small moments you’re just you. I often forget myself, I should practise what I preach! – Keeping Up With The Kays
- One of the things that really helped me find myself is to write. Before I start to blog, my Husband and I created an email address for Sophia (After we found out we were having a girl in fact!) So that we could email her. Sending those emails to her meant that I could get all my thoughts down and out of my head and that really helped to keep me grounded when it is such an overwhelming time! – Mumblebees
- My go to thing is having a relaxing bath, go all out with candles, bubbles/ bath bomb, take a cuppa or a glass of wine and no baby monitor. – My Lennon and Me
I just admit it is something that I have always struggled with but I am slowly but surely getting better.
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It is so easy to get caught up in that “mum” bubble. I did for years – everything I did was for my children, I didn’t get any me time at all and I realised that it was unhealthy so started making more time for me. Sarah
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I feel like I kept my identity by continuing to blog, which turned out amazingly for me as it’s now a full time job! I don’t think I would have stayed sane without it!
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I loved this, this is something every new Mum should read. Make up too is something that makes such a difference to my mood.
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