Apparently society believe that it is acceptable to ask a woman when they are having a baby or when they are having more. Well, I just wish people would STOP!
As someone who hates being pregnant and takes being pregnant badly, if you do have an opinion on a woman’s reproductive timing then please keep it to yourself. Alot of woman probably feel the same as me that if you were handed a baby, you would be so happy as it is the pregnancy that is the rough time. Some people might see the situation as ‘sad’. I am still young so to say no more can be surprising to some. But it isn’t sad and it is the right decision for me. I imagine that there are woman reading this and thinking yes that is me and some woman might not get it. A pregnancy hits a woman’s body hard. Some woman deal with it better than others. Myself on the other hand, does not. Those 9 months to me are a mixture of anxiety, depression, pain and worry. Not an experience I want to go through again.
I get alot of comments about needing to try for a boy because I have 2 girls. Just because Jonny and I are parents to girls and don’t have a son, doesn’t mean we are missing out on anything. Not being a mum to a son is fine. Jonny tells me he loves having 2 girls. I’m not ashamed to say, I was worried about how Jonny would react to not having a boy but we do openly talk about it and he reassures me that it doesn’t matter to him. He knows and has seen first hand what pregnancy does to me. I am just one of those woman whose body doesn’t cope with carrying a baby and do you know what? That is absolutely fine. I’m proud that my body has created 2 beautiful girls. At the same time sometimes I am not proud of my body. My mental health and my chronic pain have been made worse by pregnancy. It is like ‘Have a beautiful baby and be a good mum but it will you cost you your mental health.’
So dear society, please STOP asking. STOP assuming. Just because I’m a woman and I have 2 daughters doesn’t mean I will have to try for another to have a boy. It’s not up to you to decide when a woman ‘needs’ to have a baby. Everyone has their own idea of perfect.