Do We Have To Choose Between Having A Family Or A Dream Career?

This is a question that I have been asking myself lately and I am so torn when it comes to the answer.

I became a Mum before I became a freelance writer or any of my blogging career started. When I found out I was pregnant I was fresh out of college. I hadn’t really started my career in anything and to be honest, at that moment in my life, I didn’t really know what I wanted to do when it came to jobs or careers.

Maybe that made it easier to become a Mum?

Jonny has always worked full time and at once point was self employed so has always been the one to bring the money in. It has meant that I didn’t have to worry or rush in to getting a job after Elsa was born but then Cleo and Brody came along. I started blogging in 2016, I wasn’t even pregnant with Cleo at this point. Blogging started as something for me to do. To pass the time and give me some where to put my thoughts down in writing.

Jobs can fit around family life. Jobs such as hospitality or factory work. A career in something like packaged food ( could work around children. There are so many opportunities out there even for parents.

As time has gone on though, I now have 3 children and life is hectic. But there just seems to be something missing?

Something for me. A career and a dream job.

Over the past year, things have changed. Blogging has taken off, I am now a columnist and I have started to run social media for other people. The kids have always come first. I am 26 now and I still don’t feel like I have found my dream career. Maybe I never will.

But is wanting to have a dream career when I have children something that just won’t happen?

Life changes when you have children and society always expects a parent to give up everything. We drop everything to have children. Everything we have worked hard for. over night we can go from a full time worker, a business person or something that is working towards their dream to a parent. With 3 young children and so many ideas of careers, I feel like I have to choose. I want to excel in a career but I want to be present for my children.

It is such a hard conversation to have and I know that so many people will have different opinions so I though to get other opinions, I would ask fellow parenting bloggers.

I think society expects women to. If a man does it it’s shocking to society in general but I do think it’s expected dependant on the career. –

I think a patent should absolutely And completely ignore society and it’s expectations and make their own assessments as every situation entirely individual. I wanted to be home more than my career but I was the main earner everyone expected me to return. I followed my heart. –

I waited to start a family until I had finished my studies and climbed the career ladder as every woman told me that the moment you become a mum, you’re priorities change.Now, as a mum of two and working full time I don’t believe this to be true.I know many mums that are going back to college/university to change careers with children at home.Sometimes having children to feed and provide for gives the mum the confidence to reach for their dream career. –

Perhaps a controversial opinion on a controversial subject but as a child I barely saw my parents as they worked so much. In fairness, they weren’t pursuing careers, they were literally just trying to keep a roof over our heads, but it always made me feels strongly that if I was lucky enough to have children then I would dedicate myself to being there for them. And I have done, I gave up my showjumping career to worldschool and homeschool my children, and it’s never crossed my mind that it wasn’t the right or the best thing to do for my family. Of course, everyone is different, and that’s ok. –

I didn’t give up my career when I had my son but definitely faced some battles when trying to get flexible working hours. I felt penalised for being a parent at times. However, I did give up my career when we moved to another country and I do miss my job. But, it has given me the freedom to be there more for my son. Its very much a personal choice but I do think its almost expected of mum’s to do it, not dad’s. –

I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer. I think it depends on your situation, sometimes its what’s needed, but shouldn’t be automatically expected because you’re the mum.

I think it is expected by society but it’s absolutely an individual decision. I was a newspaper news editor and was told I wouldn’t be able to do that part time after having my first son. I could go back to being a reporter but not continue on the news desk. I accepted this as I knew the job wouldn’t work part time, plus it was ridiculous shifts. I took voluntary redundancy in the end. Then I had twins second time round, 3 boys under 2.5, and suddenly working full time seemed the easier option! 😂 But I’ve been home with my kids ever since and now freelance/blog around them and it works for our family. But everyone’s situation is different. –

I gave up my career to be the main caregiver to my kids, so my wife could pursue her career.On my blog I talk a lot about this. In some cases Society sees it as mums staying at home when in fact there’s a lot of men becoming stay at home dads.

So what do you think? Do we have to choose between having children or a dream career?

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